Your Goddess Archetype is Demeter

Goddesses and Personal Archetypes

Archetypes are inner images that embody universal characteristics and experiences. They are responsible for the persistent themes we see surfacing in our own lives. Myths and fairy tales, many artistic images, and many of the characters we encounter in our dreams are expressions of these archetypes. As inner guides that exist in your personality, the goddess archetypes influence how you behave, how you think and feel, and how you relate to others. Since the goddess stories that are passed on in the mythology of human cultures embody the expression of female character, they provide us with a rich and fascinating way to gain access to the personal archetypes that are active in our lives.

How to Use Your Personal Goddess Type:

The interpretation of your goddess quiz begins on the next page. Each section starts with a brief guide to understanding the information, followed by your personal results. Before you begin to study it, take a few minutes to review a few basic concepts that will help you use the goddess report to:

• Understand/accept yourself as the unique goddess you are meant to be.

• Learn how to use the guide on the goddess path to personal fulfillment.

The results of your goddess assessment can be used in several different ways. One is to treat your report simply as interesting reading to be enjoyed. As the 100-year-old woman answered, ‘ Sure, Sonny, I believe in horoscopes. At my age I believe in anything that makes life more interesting!’ Have fun with the report. Use it, and information available at the website, as an entrance to the fascinating world of mythology and personality type. Learn to recognize patterns of behavior among your family, friends, and coworkers while you gain a better picture of your own strengths, abilities, and vulnerabilities.

A second approach is to use your results to learn to relax and accept yourself for who you really are. Recognizing the strength and beauty of your own personal goddess type can be a deeply empowering experience. If your goddess type is not one that is valued highly by society, your sense of self-esteem will almost certainly have been threatened. Take comfort from learning about the richness of your goddess type and realize that, even if it seems you are often ‘marching to the beat of a different drummer’, you share your type with many others and don’t have to try to force yourself into the mold of a more socially acceptable type. You are not alone.

The third approach is to use the report as a guide on your path to personal growth. It can help you see and understand the underlying reasons for the patterns of your life. Each goddess type has both strengths and weaknesses. Knowing about your goddess type, you can capitalize upon those strengths (and guard against the weaknesses) while you begin to work on your underdeveloped traits. The more you function within your inherent goddess type, the stronger and more confident you will become, the more control you have over your life, and the better prepared you are to make the choices that create the life you want. You can enlist the help of other, less well-developed goddess types, thereby enlarging your repertoire of attitudes, feelings, and behaviors. You will be less rigid and more flexible, better able to meet the wide variety of challenges and demands that your life may present. Your report highlights ways you can assist this process of ‘becoming’.

Your Personal Goddess Type:

Her Story and Her Symbols

Each one of us is born with an inherent temperament that predisposes us to develop as one of a number of goddess types. These ‘goddess gifts’ reveal themselves at an early age and remain fairly constant throughout our lives. They influence how you learn and think, how you decide and act, who you select as friends and mates, even where your talents lie, in short, everything that makes you unique and guides the direction of your life. This gift, your personal goddess type, is your favored, most trusted style in dealing with the outer world.

Demeter

Goddess of the Bountiful Harvest

and the Nurturing Spirit

Demeter, the most generous of the great Olympian goddesses, was an ancient goddess beloved for her service to mankind in giving them the gift of the harvest, the reward for cultivation of the soil. As the goddess of the harvest, she was credited with teaching humans how to grow, preserve, and prepare grain and corn and was thought to be responsible for the fertility of the land. She was the only Olympian goddess who was involved on a day-to-day basis in the lives of the common folk. While others occasionally ‘dabbled’ in human affairs when it suited their personal interests, or came to the aid of ‘special’ mortals they favored, Demeter was truly the nurturer of mankind. She also was the only Olympian goddess who could truly empathize with the human experience of suffering and grief, having experienced it fully herself.

Demeter is best known for her fierce defense of her daughter, Persephone, who was also known as the child, Kore (or Cora). Persephone’s father was Zeus, the might ruler of the Olympians; Demeter had been one of his early consorts, long before his marriage to Hera.

Persephone was an obedient, cheerful girl who had a happy childhood, playing with her cousins, Artemis and Athena. Reaching adolescence, she was carefree and spirited, often dancing playfully and picking wildflowers in the meadow near her home. Her youthful beauty drew the attention of Hades, the god of the underworld, and he could not help falling in love with her. One day as she reaches over to pick a flower, the earth opens and the arm of Hades reaches up from the underworld. And so Hades abducted her, dragging her back to his kingdom. Hearing Persephone’s screams, Demeter rushes to the meadow, but cannot find Persephone. Carrying a torch, she traveled the world day and night, never eating or resting, searching futilely for her daughter.

Poseidon, god of the sea, noticed her and pursued her with amorous intent. She tried to fool him by changing herself into a mare and hiding herself in the middle of a herd of horses, but he was not fooled. Poseidon saw through her disguise, turned himself into a stallion, and took her at his will.

When she continued her journey in search of her daughter, she met an old and poor man who was gathering firewood who invited her to return to his home to eat supper with his family and to rest on her journey. When she told him that she was searching for her daughter, he wished her success and told her that he understood her suffering since his son lay dying at home. The compassionate Demeter changed her mind and went with the kindly man, stopping only once to gather some poppies by the path. Entering his humble home, she went straight away to the boy’s bedside and kissed the boy lovingly on the cheek. Immediately the pallor left his face and his breathing eased, as Demeter’s love had restored the son to full health.

Although it was the custom of the gods and goddesses to become very vindictive toward anyone who failed to honor them in a dignified fashion, Demeter was such a kind goddess that she seldom utilized this privilege. One of the few times was when she stopped on her travels to quench her thirst by drinking from a spring and heard a man named Ascaelabus laughing at the sound of her gulping the fresh water. Embarrassed, and angry with the man for being so rude, she turned him into a lizard.

Resuming her search, she soon encountered Hecate, goddess of the crossroads, who advised her to speak with Helio, goddess of the sun . . . reasoning that, since she had been riding her chariot (the sun) through the sky that day, she had surely seen what had happened to Persephone. Helio told Demeter what she had seen and that Persephone was now ensconced as Hades’ wife and Queen of the Underworld. She also gave her the shocking news that Zeus himself had sanctioned the marriage, giving Hades permission to abduct Persephone.

Understandably, Demeter felt betrayed. Renouncing her divine duties that included bringing fertility to the land, she left Mount Olympus swearing that the earth would remain barren until her daughter was returned to her. She took refuge in the city of Eleusis. Disguised as an old woman, she was met the city rulers two young daughters at the well, and they, liking her immensely, invited her to return to their home to meet their mother. There she met their mother who was cuddling her infant son. This must have stirred Demeter’s longing for her abducted daughter horribly. She became immediately depressed, almost catatonic, her eyes gazing off into the distance and unwilling or unable to even speak.

Everyone tried all that they knew to cheer their guest; but it was to no avail. Eventually one of the household servants, a middle-aged maid named Baubo, came and sat in front of Demeter and started talking, mostly making humorous comments (most likely of the ‘male-bashing’ sort), some of them quite risqué. Encouraged when she saw the beginnings of a smile forming on Demeter’s grief stricken face, Baubo hiked up her skirt and ‘mooned’ the goddess who responded with a deep belly laugh that brought her out of the deep depression. Her good nature now restored, she was soon hired to work as a nursemaid to the infant son of the city’s ruler.

Caring for him lovingly, feeding him on the nectar and ambrosia of the gods, she grew very attached to the young Demophoon and decided to make him immortal. But, just as Demeter was holding his feet over the fire (the ritual which would transform him into an Olympian god, Demophoon’s mother entered the room. Mistakenly believing that Demeter was about to burn her son, she began to scream. Demeter dropped her disguise, revealing the beautiful goddess that she truly was, and berated the mother for her stupidity in stopping the ritual that would have given her son immortality. In addition, she demanded that a temple be built in her honor. This was done, and Demeter remained there, sitting alone in the darkness, once again depressed and grieving for her lost daughter.

All this time, with Demeter refusing to function, the land grew barren and the harvests ceased . . . the earth saw a winter that did not end. Zeus finally opens his eyes to what is happening and sends messengers to apologize and coax Demeter to return. Demeter, however, remained adamant that she would not return until Persephone was rescued. Finally, Zeus gives in and sends Hermes to command Hades to release Persephone.

Persephone, upon hearing the news, rejoiced for she had missed her mother sorely. As she was leaving Hades offered her a pomegranate to eat, for she had refused all food while she had been in the underworld, and was surely hungry. Although she undoubtedly knew that those who ate anything in the underworld were not allowed to return to the earth, Persephone accepted Hades’ gift, but ate only the seeds. Hermes borrowed Hades chariot and stallions and flew Persephone home to her mother as Zeus had ordered.

Demeter was not pleased that Persephone had eaten the pomegranate seeds and would have to return to the underworld for part of each year, but was otherwise overjoyed to be reunited with her daughter. Happily, she resumed her divine duties and restored the fertility of the earth. Each year Demeter longs for her absent daughter and withdraws her favors from the earth for a period we know as winter, but Persephone returns each spring to end her desolation.

Once Persephone was safely returned, albeit for only a third of a year, Demeter decided to reside in her temple in Eleusis where she had enjoyed the welcome and support of her friends during her long search for Persephone. There she developed the Eleusian mysteries, a series of profound religious ceremonies that taught her initiates how to live joyfully and how to die without fear.

The story of Demeter illustrates the tremendous capacity of a woman to love and nurture, within her own family and the world at large. It also reminds us to stand firm for what is good and right, even in the face of adversity, when powerful forces are aligned against us. Demeter’s message also reminds us of the seasons of a woman’s life, that even though there are times of great sorrow there is also great joy to be found.

Demeter’s Symbols

 

General:

 

Cornucopia, sheaves of wheat, autumn harvest,torch, bread, honey, acorn

 

 

Animals:

 

Lion, snakes, crane, lizard, all domestic pets

 

 

Plants:

 

Poppies, sunflower, cypress, sheaves of wheat, corn,foxglove, daisy, columbine, ash and oak trees

 

 

Perfume/Scents:

 

Orange blossom, myrrh, olibanum, civet, patchouli,violet, cloves and cinnamon

 

 

Gems and

Metals:

 

 

Pearl, star sapphire, cat’s eye, silver, ivory,emerald, sardonyx, carnelian, amber, mercury, copper

 

Colors:

 

 

Green, dark brown, gold, navy blue, pink

The Demeter Archetype

Every woman’s personality is actually influenced by numerous different goddesses (traits that exist in her personality, or roles that function in her life). One goddess, however, predominates. It is this goddess, your personal goddess type, that is detailed in this report because she represents the core part of your personality that establishes your identity and most influences how you express it to the outer world. Think of it as your own personal ‘comfort zone’ your personal goddess type represents your basic, in-born core, the way you ‘really’ are. When you are functioning within the boundaries of your goddess type, you feel ‘at home with yourself’. Anxieties will be dissolved, priorities clearer, and you will feel energized, resilient, and capable. If your circumstances are well matched to your goddess type, your normal coping mechanisms will work well, and you will feel a sense of control over your destiny.

Demeter Characteristics

It’s easy to see where Demeter got the earth mother image! No other goddess is known for such a bountiful, nurturing temperament. People are of the greatest interest to the Demeter type. She doesn’t live her life in terms of ideas or causes, but she can be quite organized and decisive. Making others feel good is her goal in life, and she approaches this mission with great enthusiasm.

Most Demeters play close attention to how they are dressed, but often end up with something that doesn’t quite match or seems completely out of place. Their overall appearance is usually rather slow and relaxed, but they usually have a bright, animated shine in their eyes that communicates their emotionality.

Demeter was the most sociable of all the goddesses, drawing strength and energy from her interactions. Above all else, a Demeter values harmony and wherever she may go she promotes harmonious relationships. Her own emotions are intense and sometimes erupt dramatically, although she tries hard to contain them and not draw too much attention to herself. She has an unusual capacity for relating to others with empathy-tending to take into herself the mood, characteristics, and emotions of others. She can easily find herself over-identifying with others and experiencing their burdens as her own.

A Demeter is a natural born worrier. Others can easily tell when she is distressed about something for she is fully expressive of her emotional reactions. Her tendency to worry and be pessimistic usually makes her well prepared for any disaster when (and if) it comes, but her predisposition to always expect the worst takes an undue toll on her, not to mention those close to her.

A Demeter’s social ties matter greatly to her. Her verbal skills are highly developed and unique. Her conversations are often peppered with laughter. She is appreciated for her quick wit and humor and especially enjoys the company of other people who, like her, give off lots of positive emotions. She likes to tell stories emotionally and often in great detail. Sometimes when she talks she takes a few liberties with the truth in the interest of making the story more interesting or dramatic. She is particularly talented in combining humor with tragedy in her remarks. A Demeter is also remarkable in the extent to which she can persuade others that her opinions are right, especially when it comes to convincing them while warning them about some problem or impending trouble (that may or may not really exist outside the Demeter’s imagination). Although they can be rather dramatic in their speech, Demeters often disclose their true opinions during conversation as they find it hard to keep them to themselves.

Because they are so friendly and sociable, Demeters usually find it easy to make new friends. As a hostess she is without equal, constantly attending to the comfort of her guests and seeing to it that they are entertained. A Demeter woman is particularly vulnerable to idealizing her relationships, raising her expectations to the point where they are unrealistic. She may unknowingly overpower her mate and friends with these expectations, and they may believe that they cannot possibly live up to her perception of them. The truth is that Demeters are exceptionally tolerant of others and are seldom critical.

As a rule a Demeter is well advised to trust her hunches for her intuition tends to be very highly developed. She can especially ‘read’ people with uncanny accuracy and is seldom wrong about their motivations or intent. When she tries to decide matters purely on the basis of logic she can find herself widely ‘off-base’. For important decisions she might do well to check with others for their opinions. When it comes to her values and principles, however, Demeter is on firm ground; she knows exactly where she stands and, like the goddess, will refuse to budge on a matter of principle.

A Demeter woman needs to be needed. Almost as importantly, she needs to be loved and appreciated. Demeters often give large amounts of their time and energy in service to their family and friends. Soft hearted and sympathetic, she sometimes gives too freely of herself and becomes overburdened with other people’s problems. Her ability to sense and identify with the suffering of others, experiencing their burdens as her own, can easily drain her of emotional energy.

She is very conscious of appearances and the opinions of others. She is especially sensitive to the expectations of those in authority and tends to identify with them, treating them with great respect. Although she is always polite and tactful, sometimes others may sense that she, like the goddess, behaves aristocratically and pays more attention to those of higher rank.

Since Demeters like to have things settled and organized, they prefer to plan both work and social engagements in advance and tend to be completely reliable in honoring any commitments. Demeters excel as group leaders. A Demeter has the charming characteristic of seeming to take it for granted that she will be followed and that others will do as she suggests. More often than not, people do follow because of her exceptional charisma. Cooperation, not competition, is her forte. She usually does not seek to lead, is happy being a follower in a cooperative effort, but her enthusiasm and planning skills tend to automatically propel her into a leadership position.

Demeter’s idealistic (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations sometimes carry over into the workplace where, longing for the perfect situations, she inevitably experiences disappointment and becomes restless. Some Demeters change jobs numerous times during their careers. Actually there are many fields in which she can be successful, exercising her unique sensitivity to others and her verbal adeptness. It is important for a Demeter to be in a position where sustained personal contact with others is involved, but she is also very much at home in complex situations where she has to juggle a lot of information while handling people as well.

A Demeter takes her responsibilities seriously. She will attend to them before she allows herself to relax or have fun. When she gets involved in a project she gives it her all, working for days without sleep if need be. Like the goddess Demeter, she refuses to give up until the job is done. Since she is helpful, hardworking, and incredibly generous with her time and attention, she is always a valuable asset to her family and her community.

Your Personal Characteristics

Like the Demeter that you are, you are extroverted, friendly and sociable. You enjoy being with other people and find that it energizes you, heightening your natural enthusiasm for life and all its possibilities. Exuberant, optimistic, and energetic, you are at your best in a social situation.

Like Demeter, you enjoy being with people, are full of energy, and tend to be enthusiastic. You genuinely like other
people and openly demonstrate your positive feelings toward them. It is easy for you to form close relationships,
and you tend to make friends quickly.

Demeters usually find the company of others pleasantly energizing and enjoy the company of others and the excitement
of crowds. Your quiz indicates that you are somewhat less gregarious than most Demeters, needing to occasionally
have some privacy and some time for yourself.

Like your goddess Demeter, you have a rather unconventional soul. Although at times you may seesaw between adhering
to the traditional and the unorthodox, the practical and the idealistic, you are by nature imaginative, creative,
and somewhat individualistic.

Tolerant and broadminded, you have considerable impact on the people you encounter, even though you seldom may
recognize it. Your tendency to be freedom loving and somewhat independent leads you to insist upon living your own
life as you see fit, even if that means ignoring convention.

You, like Demeter, are someone whose ‘heart rules her head’, for you have good access to your feelings and find it
relatively easy to express them openly Sometimes you do so even though it would be wiser not to. Though it may leave
you vulnerable on occasion, wearing your heart on your sleeve usually makes others feel comfortable in talking to
you about their feelings and in sharing confidences with you.

Like Demeter, your needs are fairly simple, and you are not usually difficult to please. You have a moderately
strong desire for stability and peace. Although you may enjoy occasional travel or the adventure of new experiences,
you do not require them to feel fulfilled like Demeter did. Instead, you are comfortable with familiarity and
routine and do not find them intrinsically boring, consequently you are not compelled to seek thrills or adventure
at every turn.

Like Demeter, your levels of excitement- and thrill-seeking are average, indicating you have neither a tendency
toward either high or low levels of risk-taking behavior.

Much like Demeter, you are moderate (or average) in your preference for the security and stability brought by
conformity to tradition. You are not particularly prone to challenging authority, convention, or traditional values.
But neither do you demand a safe, predictable routine to feel secure. You are also average in the extent to which
you experience ambiguity, chaos, and disorder as stressful.

Many of the legends of Demeter recount stories that demonstrate her conscientiousness, her wisdom, and caution.
Highly conscientious, Demeter was able to avoid danger and to achieve success through her purposeful planning and
her persistence. Most Demeter women tend to avoid impulsive behavior that would diminish their effectiveness and
subject them to undesirable consequences.

This ability to foresee the likely outcomes of one’s behavior is a hallmark of intelligence. The ability to
contemplate long-range goals, to plan and organize routes to these goals, and a willingness to persist in their
efforts even when they would rather be doing something else, is one of an Demeter’s goddess gifts, one that gives
you the ability to successfully undertake projects that require organized effort in sequenced steps or stages.
Consequently, Demeter women are often regarded as being intelligent and reliable.

On the negative side, some women of the Demeter type can become compulsive perfectionists and workaholics who set
high (sometimes unrealistically high) standards of performance for themselves and others. Furthermore, Demeter types
are sometimes so focused on their goals that they find it difficult to relax, not to mention play. Acting
spontaneously and impulsively in play can be fun. Others usually see spontaneous people as colorful, wacky, and fun
to be with. Give yourself permission to act in a carefree and careless manner every once in a while-at least no one
will accuse you of being stuffy or boring.

In her myths Demeter is usually depicted as someone who is fairly confident in her ability to accomplish her goals,
someone who believes she has the common sense, the drive, and the self-control to overcome the obstacles in her
path. Your level of confidence in your ability to succeed is high.

You are well organized and like to live according to routines and schedules, your attention keenly focused on what
you have to accomplish. But short of spontaneity, sometimes you may be so bound up in your lists of ‘Things To Do’
that you overlook valuable opportunities to enrich your life.

Demeter was widely known for having a strong sense of duty and moral obligation. Your sense of obligation is
average. You usually honor your commitments and seldom find contracts, rules and regulations overly confining.

Demeter usually thought things through carefully before she sprang into action. She was deliberate and cautious when making decisions. Unlike Demeter, you seldom take your time before deciding and often say the first thing that comes to mind without deliberating your alternatives and their probable consequences. The goddess Demeter was seldom impulsive. Unlike hers, your level of impulsiveness in high. You may tend to say or do the first thing that comes to mind without considering your alternatives or the probable consequences of your acts. Impulses are not inherently bad; acting on our impulses can be an effective response in situations requiring snap decisions. Additionally, acting spontaneously and impulsively makes play possible. People who are impulsive are often seen as being colorful, exciting, and fun. Nonetheless, excessive impulsivity can lead to trouble – examples include using illicit drugs that eventually destroy one’s health, responding with an insult during an argument leading to the destruction of an important relationship, or excessive socializing that results in being fired from one’s job.

How A Demeter’s Mind Works

Your goddess type is largely determined by the neurological hard-wiring you received at birth. It governs the way you think and learn. Unfortunately, most of us have been exposed to a ‘one-size-fits-all’ educational system that fails to take into account that not everyone has the same style of learning. Understanding how you think and learn best can help you be more productive at work or in school.

A Demeter thinks in broad terms, is forward-looking, and progressive. They have a natural facility for thinking in symbols and abstractions and may greatly be moved by music and the visual and performing arts as well as the raw beauty of nature. Undisturbed by complexity, ambiguity, or subtlety, they tend to enjoy novelty, variety, and change. They usually have several different “projects” underway at the same time, though you may leave some of them incomplete when they abandon them for newer interests.

Sometimes Demeters form an opinion of a person or situation without much factual knowledge, and their intuition is often correct. It may be hard to explain to others but intangible forces seem just as real to them as anything in the concrete world. They are quick to sense the possibilities in any given situation and are more likely to focus on them that on any of the specific details of “what-actually-is” that others observe. They tend to have restless minds and a thirst for mental stimulation, preferring to see the “big picture” and what it might mean rather than discovering how all the little pieces fit together. This “broad-stroke” approach can become a bit sloppy at times, so in some situations it’s a good idea to have a co-worker one can rely upon to handle any details that require technical precision.

Your level of creativity and imagination is average. Like Demeter you are blessed with the capacity to imagine the
possibilities and to envision a richer, more interesting world than other more conventional, down-to-earth
individuals can.

True to your nature as a Demeter, you are open-minded to new and unusual ideas and like to play with ideas and
debate intellectual issues. You probably enjoy riddles, puzzles and brainteasers. Like her, your level of ability
and comfort in thinking abstractly is high.

Demeter’s self-discipline or will power was legendary. Your level of self-discipline is neither particularly low nor
high. You are often able to overcome any reluctance to begin a task (even a disagreeable one) and to stay on track
despite distractions. You usually find it possible to persist at difficult or unpleasant tasks, seeing them through
to completion.

A Demeter is born with a hunger for knowledge and a burning desire for competence. She wants to be competent and to
understand . . . able to predict, explain, and control her world. Her eye is always focused on finding the way to
gain mastery of her self and her environment, constantly seeking solutions to problems, no matter how complex they
might seem. She is typically involved with projects that call for innovation, creativity, and vision. A Demeter
enjoys learning for its own sake. Never satisfied, she is motivated to continually improve, always raising the
standard by which she judges her own success. Typically she is her own worst critic.

Lectures that are logical and evidence-based appeal to most Demeter types . . . even more so if they are followed by
assignments requiring relevant, long term or extensive independent papers or projects. Intellectual exploration
through experimentation, analysis, and problem solving are her forte. She collects theories, laws, principles, and
concepts to give structure to her understanding of the world.

Demeter At Work

Just as your inborn goddess type impacts the way you think and learn, it also greatly influences your life at work.
When your goddess-given strengths and patterns of behavior have become habitual, certain jobs or careers will be
more ‘natural’ for you. When your job allows you to capitalize on your goddess type, it is interesting and
energizing, almost fun. So if you’re about to enter the job market, use you knowledge of your goddess type as a
guide to selecting an ideal position that is a good match for your goddess type.

None of this means you can’t be happy in other fields. Lots of other factors influence job satisfaction, your boss
and coworkers, the pay, the dress code, for example. Most people manage to adapt, to develop and strengthen their
less developed skills and interests when working in a job, unless other factors introduce too many problems in the
setting.

Finally, if you aren’t satisfied at work or don’t feel you’re very effective, you can use what you learn about your
goddess’ strengths to examine the match between your goddess type and your current job and career.

You, like the goddess Demeter, are high in your quest for achievement. Those with a drive to be recognized as
successful often have a strong sense of direction in their lives and strive hard to achieve excellence in their
chosen pursuits. Taken to the extremes, high achievement-seeking may result in an individual who is too
single-minded and obsessed with her work-or at the other extreme, an individual content to get by with only a
minimal amount of work, even if it means being seen by others as lazy. Your level of achievement striving is high.

 

Demeter at work tends to be:

 

Articulate

Organized

Creative

Persuasive

Committed 

Responsible

Decisive

Sensitive

Empathetic

Sociable

Enthusiastic

Tactful

Outgoing

Tenacious

 

Like Demeter, you are usually attracted to what is new and different. The fact that something is unproven isn’t likely to put you off. Simply taking someone else’s good idea and making it work isn’t your style. You’d rather do the creating and leave the mundane chore of working out the details (or following the procedures manual) to someone else. As a Demeter your interest dissipates once a task becomes repetitive or routine . . . after all, a Demeter prefers a challenge!

You are an innovator in your approach. Your strength lies in the very way you can make intuitive leaps, instinctively sensing what might work best in a given situation. You may sometimes err when success depends on detailed factual data or on accuracy. For you, by nature, are seeing the ‘big picture’, not the little details.

A Demeter is usually well organized and likely to be a bit lost without her list of ‘Things To Do’. Very aware of time, you value punctuality and tend to be very productive, planning your work schedule down to 15-minute time slots to get the most done. With a tendency to be a ‘workaholic’, you’ve probably accumulated more annual leave time than you’re ever likely to use.

You work more effectively when you’re allowed to work on one project at a time, seeing it through to completion. You like for your work environment to be fairly predictable. You probably try to maintain a tidy workspace (or at least have a system that helps you find your ‘stuff’ even if it is all in a pile!)

You work better when you have clearly defined goals and systems already worked out. As a Demeter type, you rarely procrastinate and feel comfortable making decisions fairly quickly. You will be happiest in jobs that give you a lot of control over how you go about getting your work done You don’t mind working at a rapid pace, moving quickly from one task to another.

Solitary work is not for a Demeter. For one thing, you tend to ‘think out loud’ and may actually need to talk to be able to do your best thinking. Brainstorming sessions and committee meetings are often where you have your best ideas. It’s as if a thought forms in your head but becomes ‘fleshed out’ as you discuss it with others.

Your warm, friendly approach and sensitivity to the feelings of others often inspires others to look to you for guidance and support. You often engage in small talk and tend to be very diplomatic, although not very assertive. Others may think your ‘welcome mat’ is always out and sometimes distract you from completing important tasks.

A Demeter woman does not flourish in a work environment that is full of conflict, arguments, and confrontation. It is important to your job satisfaction that your work be personally meaningful for you, allowing you to help others in an environment of cooperation and support.

 

Demeter Women Often Find Careers in these Fields Rewarding:

Alcohol/drug counselor

 

Occupational therapist

Artist

Politician

Career counselor 

Producer (TV, film)

Child welfare worker

Program designer

College teacher: humanities

Psychologist

Corporate trainer

Recreation director

Editor (magazine) 

Recruiter

Entertainer

Sales manager

Fund-raiser

Sales trainer

Housing director

Services for elderly

Human resources specialist

Small business manager

Interpreter/Translator

Social worker

Librarian

Therapist

Marketing specialist

Travel agent

Newscaster

Writer/journalist

 

Demeter’s Relationships

When we encounter people whose god or goddess type matches our own, people who have similar traits, we are usually attracted to them and often make them a part of our social circle. This is not surprising for they tend to think like you, have similar interests, treat you as you treat others, and are easy for you to communicate with. You feel comfortable and energized when you are with them. When you spend much time with someone of an opposite type, you may feel drained of energy if it becomes a struggle to find common ground. Other types truly see the world through different eyes and approach life from a very different perspective. Depending on the situation in which you find yourselves, you may be able to recognize your differences and essentially ‘agree to disagree’.

Try to learn more and use your understanding about different god and goddess types, remembering that even though they differ, each type has its unique strengths and beauty. After all, it is the incredible diversity that makes life so colorful!

The natural expression of a spirit of cooperation and friendship is your goddess gift. Like the goddess Demeter, you are a natural diplomat-you are reasonable, tolerant, and fair. Willing to listen to everyone’s viewpoints, you are always ready to see their side. Harmony in your social relationships is important to you, so you generally go out of your way to be considerate, friendly, generous, and helpful. Endowed with an optimistic view of human nature, you tend to believe that others are basically honest, decent, and trustworthy.

At times your generosity can seem excessive and may cause you problems. You may need to set limits on your giving nature and learn not to trust others so readily. Because of your strong desire to be liked, and your need for acceptance and approval, you can easily be influenced by the opinions and desires of others-and suppress your own needs and values in order to please them.

You usually take a friendly, cooperative approach rather than a forceful ‘we-should-do-it-like this’ position.
You’re more likely to use your charm in an understated, non-combative fashion to try to reach your objectives. But
if all else fails (or if the stakes are high or you’ve just been pushed-too-far) you are perfectly capable of being
assertive since your quiz reveals that your assertiveness level is high.

You approach your relationships as if they were an art form, and like Demeter, are very skilled in this area since
you possess both a high sensitivity to the needs and feelings of others as well as a genuine concern for their well
being. Others see you as an agreeable, cooperative, and nice person for this is the face you choose to show to the
world . . . even though there is much more to you than this. Because of your harmonious disposition you usually get
along easily with others and have a pleasant, agreeable manner that most find appealing.

Demeter was revered for her altruism for she was generally willing to assist those in need. Like her, you find
helping other people genuinely rewarding and have a strong need to be of service to others. For you, helping others
is a form of self-fulfillment rather than sacrifice. Your level of altruism is high.

You do not run away from confrontations and, unlike Demeter, are usually not willing to deny your own needs and
interests simply to get along with people. As a result, sometimes others may find you a bit intimidating or
uncooperative.

Tenderhearted and compassionate, like your personal goddess type Demeter, you can easily feel the pain and neediness
of others and are easily moved to pity. Strongly affected by human suffering, sometimes you may lose your
objectivity and impartiality.

Demeter As a Child

What you were like as a child and the messages you received from your parents have undoubtedly influenced your development, for better or worse. Lucky for you if your family enjoyed and encouraged you to develop naturally as the Demeter that you are -chances are you felt good about yourself and got a big head start in developing all your Demeter strengths.

Sometimes, however, having ‘too much’ family support can cause a problem. When parents give their little goddess unlimited approval for the traits of her natural goddess type to the exclusion of helping her develop the helpful traits of the other goddesses that exist as potential in her personality, she can grow up too one-sided. Take, for example, the young Artemis who is a natural athlete and fierce competitor. While her parents are busy applauding her for all her trophies and carting her to competitions, they may forget to similarly encourage her to keep up with her assignments and she fails to sufficiently develop her intellectual skills.

Also unfortunate is the girl whose goddess type meets with her parents’ disapproval. Their opposition won’t change her inborn type; it just leaves her feeling bad about herself for being who she is, feeling inauthentic if she tries to conform to their expectations by pretending to be ‘the other girl’ that she sensed they would have preferred, or even making her rebellious.

As a Demeter child you were polite, diplomatic, and eager to please. Even as a young child you were quite sensitive-you took everything personally and your feelings were easily hurt. You were usually quite responsible and orderly, but sometimes rushed through your work and made hasty decisions. Prone to daydream, you had a rich imaginary life. Hopefully your parents respected your strong feelings and personal values and gave you their full support.

It is likely that you were well-liked in school, although not necessarily popular since you hardly have a competitive bone in your body. Your circle of friends probably included people of different socioeconomic classes, races, and ethnic backgrounds-you have always gone out of your way to help others feel comfortable and accepted. This nurturing quality of the Demeter woman is usually apparent at a very early age.

Remember that your parents, like most, probably assumed that you, their child, were pretty much like them. All parents have a different view of the ‘right way’ to rear a child, one that reflects their own god or goddess type.

Demeter As a Parent

Armed with your new understanding of how the goddess types work, you will not be surprised to hear that one other factor, the goddess or god-type of your child, will play a big part in how well you will fare in your role as a parent. Bear in mind that, whichever little gods or goddesses reside in your pantheon, the wise goddess avoids trying to reshape them and allows them to grow into their true goddess-given selves with her understanding and support.

The family, and especially her children, are the center of the life of the Demeter woman. She loves them unconditionally and makes time to give them her undivided attention, no matter what other responsibilities she may have. A Demeter mother is definitely ‘hands on’, cuddling them as babies and playing on the floor with them during toddlerhood. More than any other goddess type, a Demeter is sympathetic and focused when she is nurturing her young.

A Demeter is a good listener, understanding, and always ready to help her children with their problems. She can often sense when something is troubleing them and usually helps them learn how to deal effectively with their emotions.

Although some Demeters can be a bit overprotective or over-involved with their children, most manage to let them grow up and away from their dependence on her without too many problems. In disciplining she is kind and not domineering; but her standards are firm, and her children quickly learn to abide by them as well.

Demeter and Her Mates

Is there one perfect match for your goddess type? Some types may be naturally better suited than others. After all, the more similar two types are, the more they understand each other for the more values and interests they have in common, the easier they can communicate, and the less work they have to do to get along. They may, however, have to make an extra effort to stay interesting to each other.

But what about opposites? Opposites may attract, but too often they don’t manage to stay together. When a person from a very different type comes into a romantic relationship with you, you may find yourself drawn to them because you are intrigued by their difference. (Sometimes this may be a sign that they have a quality or strength you admire that isn’t a part of your goddess type and that you need to develop in your self.) Too soon the magical courtship stage is over and you begin to notice that the differences between you are less appealing, maybe even a source of annoyance and conflict. Perhaps you start seeing signs that there isn’t good chemistry between you, or that you need to pull back and not invest so much of yourself. If you think there is enough positive about the relationship and can thoughtfully examine the differences objectively, you may decide to live with the differences between you. Sometimes, though, the differences are just too great to overcome or do not justify the amount of energy it takes to maintain the relationship. If you choose not to deal with the differences, it is wise to move on and find other mates who are more compatible with your goddess type.

But if you’re already deeply invested in such a relationship, or if you simply like a challenge, much can be gained in a mating of opposites. Rather than unintentionally turning your differences into a source of frustration and dissatisfaction, you can learn to celebrate them. Unfortunately, the tendency is to instinctively follow the path of the Pygmalion archetype. In this legend the sculptor Pygmalion, unable to love any of the women he met, carved a statue . . . a perfect and beautiful image of his ‘ideal woman’. Over the course of his labors he grew madly in love with her, but fell into despair because, as a lifeless statue, she could not love him in return.

Like Pygmalion, we (in ways subtle, and not so subtle) try to make our partners change, to become more like us. Chipping away at our loves and marriages with constant tension, criticism, and complaints, we try to pull our partners out of their own god- or goddess- types. Such efforts are destined to fail. Even if it could be successful, it would extinguish their personality, leaving them as lifeless and cold as a statue. Although Aphrodite took pity on the poor sculptor and brought his statue to life in the legend, we must make our own miracles . . . by understanding our differences and seeing them not as problems but as incredible opportunities to breathe life into our own relationships.

This section will guide you to a general understanding of how your goddess archetype exerts a profound influence on the course of your love life. Perhaps the most important aspect of this report is the recognition that the very same differences that attract a woman and her mate to each other can also be the cause of most of the conflict between them, and that it is how these differences are handled that really matters.

Being married, or in a committed relationship, has great significance for you. Finding the right person to share your life with, and maintaining that relationship, is very important for you are not an independent loner; being part of a couple seems natural to you. The tendency of some Demeters, however, is to become overly dependent on their partner, or more often their children, and to neglect the development of their own identities outside of the family relationship. Finding the right balance between being yourself and merging with your family is a challenge you must face.

As a partner, Demeter’s commitment is usually lifelong. Loyal and faithful as a mate, she takes responsibilities to her family very seriously and is a steady, dependable partner who works hard to nurture and protect her relationships. She will often stick with her partner through thick or thin. A Demeter always try to please her partner and takes more than their share of personal responsibility for their home life, feeling guilty when it is not going well.

A Demeter desires harmony in her household, and will go to great lengths to provide it. She is conscientious about her responsibilities as a homemaker, and her house is usually clean and orderly. She wants family decisions settled quickly and efficiently, and the household organized and run on a schedule. If her partner is one whose standards are much more relaxed, frustration may be inevitable. She may find it easier to just ‘do it myself’, but eventually ends up feeling resentful. She cannot help but feel that everything her family does is a reflection on her.

Since Demeters feel so strongly about what’s important to them, it is important to them that their partners share similar values and concerns. Having mutual interests is very important to the relationship.

Demeters long for the perfect relationship and have an idealized internal image of what that is supposed to be. Needless to say, their relationships, however fulfilling, are likely to fall somewhat short of their ideal, leaving them vaguely dissatisfied. She, however, is never domineering or demanding and usually feels that it is solely her responsibility to make the relationship work. It is not uncommon for a Demeter woman to fall victim to her own nurturing nature by ending up wedded to a very demanding partner who takes her generosity for granted and becomes increasingly critical and demanding. Her caretaking pattern typically includes her feeling that she is to blame and increasingly trying to meet his unrealistic expectations alternating with periods of resentment and depression. Typically she will vacillate endlessly between being compliant and forgiving with a demanding spouse and feeling resentful and angry that her own needs are so seldom met. Unable to accept being domineering herself, she seems perfectly able to accept it from him, no matter how badly she is treated.

Most Demeters are rather thin-skinned, taking most things personally. Although they desire harmony, they can become very emotional and confrontational, even punishing, when their feelings are dismissed. It is important to a Demeter that she feel listened to by her partner and supported, especially when she is in the midst of strong feelings that threaten to overwhelm her. Since a Demeter usually is deeply motivated to resolve the conflict and is very insightful about the dynamics of relationships, she usually sees to it that the relationship is restored to a peaceful state in short order.

Although she is long-suffering, her tendency to always put the needs of others before her own can leave her feeling depleted and exhausted. The extreme sensitivity to the feelings of others that makes Demeters the most nurturing of all the types also leaves them highly sensitive to what other think of them. Loving and affectionate themselves, they need to be loved and appreciated in return and usually hope to find this from their mates. A Demeter can be crushed by criticism from her partner and needs frequent reassurance of her worth.

Always considerate and caring, Demeters value good communication and mutual respect and deserve to be appreciated for their hard work, generosity, and compassion.

Visit the reference section at www.goddessgift.com to find valuable resources that will help you ‘love the one you’re with’, getting past the ancient conflicts and behavior patterns that have the power to destroy relationships. Learn to appreciate, even honor, each other’s complementary, but differing, ways of being. By developing insight into the ways the god and goddess archetypes interact, you can learn how to make your differences complement one another as intensely as they might otherwise clash.

Demeter Under Stress

Your goddess type impacts every aspect of your life, including your health and sense of well-being. In fact, recent research suggests a direct link between personality and illness. Your goddess type represents the orderly arrangement of your personality that helps you deal with life. If your life is highly compatible with your goddess type, all is well. If, however, your circumstances force you to function largely outside your personal type, you will view your life from a negative perspective and experience stress and emotional discomfort. Our thoughts and emotions are deeply intertwined. Negative thoughts provoke negative feelings that rob the body of the energy it needs to remain in healthy balance, leaving us susceptible to illness.

Consider this example: Amy’s goddess type is one that finds it very difficult to say ‘no’ to anyone. Consequently, she is always trying to do too much and is frequently behind schedule. Missing deadlines and being late for appointments causes her to feel guilty, so every time she is late creates additional stress for her. That stress results in a negative chemical reaction in her body, which, if continued over a long period of time, can ‘wear down’ her body’s natural defenses, leaving her accident prone and vulnerable to infections and a number of other stress-related illnesses.

Another body of fascinating research suggests that each personality type is linked to its own specific areas of vulnerability, or ‘weak sites’, within the body . . . an Achilles’ heel, so to speak. It is thought that these particular areas may be more sensitive to stress-related chemical imbalance.

This section will help you identify:

• Typical ways your type functions under stress

• Characteristic negative thoughts (fears and anxieties) that produce stress

• Vulnerable areas of the body and major health issues for your goddess type

• Behavior patterns that may put you ‘at risk of developing a specific health problem

A woman whose archetype is Demeter often lives with high levels of stress on a daily basis. After all, she holds herself and others to standards that are often impossibly high, and is apt to frequently be disappointed!

Most Demeters have a tendency to avoid conflict at any cost, even it requires suppressing their own needs and feelings. A major source of stress in a Demeter’s life is her ongoing struggle with her fear that she may be unlovable and the resulting willingness to accept responsibility for the faults and problems of others. A Demeter woman can lose her objectivity if she gets too emotionally involved with others, especially those ‘needy’ types who take advantage of her. It often helps for a Demeter woman to call upon Psyche’s help to ‘sort out the seeds’ . . . to help her figure out which truly are her problems and which really need to be ‘given back’ to their rightful owners. Since a woman with Demeter characteristics is frequently agreeable and cooperative, she often has adopted the beliefs and values of others as her own. Demeter’s idealism, and especially her tendency to idealize relationships, means her relationships often don’t quite turn out as she expected them to and she is often likely to assume full responsibility or blame, even if it is undeserved.

Deeply fearful of being unworthy or unlovable, she is very aware that others can use these vulnerabilities against her. When stressed, she often struggles with self-pity, self-doubt, or even self-condemnation. In a state of inner confusion, she redoubles her efforts to obtain the reassurance or approval of others to alleviate these feelings. Sometimes this only perpetuates her feelings of personal inadequacy by casting her into codependent relationships. Finding it difficult to balance her need to be able to depend upon others while taking full responsibility for her own choices, a Demeter may find herself nurturing negative feelings (including jealousy) about others.

Feelings of powerlessness may leave her depressed. Although a Demeter woman usually tries to ignore or ‘gloss-over’ a stressful situation, if it does not resolve and the stress continues to be unbearable, her emotions may erupt, manifesting the pent-up stress as a fit of rage, hysterical crying, or even physical illness.

The most vulnerable areas of a Demeter’s body include her respiratory system, neck, chest shoulders, and upper back. Muscular tension, headaches, asthma and bronchitis, allergies, hormonal imbalances and eating disorders are health issues commonly affecting women who are Demeter types.

Situations most likely to trigger a Demeter’s level of stress are those that evoke:

• the fear others will recognize and use their vulnerabilities against them

• fear of not being loved

• resentment from holding onto past hurts and angers

• frustration over finding it hard to face important issues and make decisions.

Major stressors that arise in the lives of a Demeter are often related to her:

• suppressing her own feelings and not be able to express them

• willingness to accept the responsibility and blame herself for everything that occurs, and

• tendency to be single-minded and focused on her relationships while questioning whether or not she is worthy of being loved.

Demeter’s Personal Goddess Path

While your goddess type is the strongest, most developed, preferred, and ‘natural’ to you, you potentially have aspects (or traits) of all the goddesses in your personality. They are willing to come to your rescue if needed. As your life unfolds over time, you will be presented with different challenges that are not in your goddess’ ‘area of expertise’, challenges that another goddess would be better equipped to handle. You can recognize when this occurs because you may feel drained of energy, ‘mentally fuzzy’, and less sure of your ability to cope. Your life may feel out of control, or you may even have a strong sense of being ‘numbed’ or detached from what is going on around you. Here is where those other goddesses can come to your rescue.

Demeter’s Allies

The goddesses Psyche and Aphrodite are your allies. Already present in your personality, they can be called into play to help you adapt and grow. Which goddess is active at any given time depends on a combination of factors that interact-how many (and which) goddesses are in your repertoire and your predisposition to use them. The situation you find yourself coping with and the roles it calls forth in you, even your hormones, and your stage of life are also important factors.

Think of your life as an improvisational play with several actresses in the cast, each with a different role. One actress (your personal goddess type) will play the lead and be on-stage most of the time since she is your strongest, most experienced performer. However, the others will be called on-stage occasionally when the play takes a direction that calls for their ‘special’ skills or attributes.

You can also activate a goddess archetype intentionally, by consciously focusing on her (through study, meditations, rituals) or by ‘doing’ those activities with which she is associated, such as taking a college course to ‘activate’ the logical Athena. All you need do is honor her and consciously invite her presence – a process called ‘invoking’ a goddess. This section identifies the other goddesses in your makeup and some of the ways you can summon, or invoke, these goddesses in your life-to solicit their aid during times of crisis or to strengthen their impact and increase your psychological flexibility.

Like you, your ally Psyche was warm and affectionate, priding herself on her successful search for deep emotional intimacy in her relationships. Psyche can offer a Demeter help in learning to be more selective about where she devotes her energy and attention and give a Demeter the motivation to slow down, unwind, and give herself an opportunity to rest once in a while.

Demeters are often in such a hurry to get their work done or to make a decision that they become inflexible. Focused on the goal or outcome they seek, a Demeter can ignore the process if it slows her down. Unless she has an ally like Aphrodite strongly developed in her personality, she will find it hard to be spontaneous or playful with other adults. Once Aphrodite’s presence is activated, a Demeter usually begins to pay more attention to what is happening in her life at that moment rather than just dreaming, planning, or working for the future. She also becomes more realistic about her ideas, projects, and her expectations of other people.

To develop a healthy balance you need to integrate characteristics of each of the goddesses into your life. By so doing, you can recognize needs you’ve left unfulfilled. Then by attending to those needs, you can become happier and more self-confident. Visit the website again (www.goddessgift.com) to learn more about the different goddesses and to learn specific ways to strengthen their presence in your life.

Recognizing Your ‘Missing Goddess’

Just as your goddess type is dominant in your makeup, there is also one specific goddess that will be the weakest in you. Atalanta is your missing goddess. Recognizing this goddess, and honoring her presence, is critical to your well-being because, if she remains neglected, she is apt to appear at the most unexpected time to create havoc in your life.

Most of us have witnessed, at one time or another, an acquaintance who, in the face of some seemingly trivial irritation, explodes into a tirade, ready to ‘take the skin off’ the offender. Normally a sweet-natured, compliant and somewhat self-effacing type, she pays for ignoring her missing goddess (in this case one who is more demanding or judgmental than her own goddess type). Had she acknowledged these needs within herself and developed a few simple assertiveness skills, she would have been spared this embarrassment.

You’ve probably encountered the motif of the ‘uninvited guest’ that appears in many fairy tales and legends. Usually the story begins with a celebration to which everyone in the kingdom is invited, everyone that is except for one certain person (often a witch or a troll who is disliked because they seem ugly or evil). This uninvited guest, understandably miffed at having been excluded, invariably shows up anyway and places a terrible curse on the hosts, the infant who is being christened, or even on the entire kingdom! The terms ‘uninvited guest’ or ‘missing goddess’ refer to the neglected or rejected side of our selves we’ve forced out of our conscious awareness. In Jungian psychology, these disowned aspects of the self, forced to reside in the darkness of the unconscious mind, are called the ‘shadow’. It is the part of our self that we feel least comfortable with and have rejected as not being a part of ‘who we really are’.

A Demeter can be rather ‘egoless’ or ‘self-less’, lacking her own independent thoughts, opinions, or even awareness of her own desires. Without a strong personal frame of reference, she is the most likely of all goddess types to become a ‘victim of codependency relationships. Alternately she may bypass her difficulty in having to ‘think for herself’ by adopting some established system of beliefs and rigidly adhering to its tenets no matter how simplistic or banal they might be, as if she had been brainwashed in other words.

Atalanta can help you become more comfortable with abstract or philosophical thought in ways that leave you less critical and judgmental about yourself and others and, at the same time, allows you to develop a valid point of view based on your own learning and experience. This can help you overcome your need to relate to others by providing them with your help and sympathy in the hope of winning the approval and affection you need and deserve. By becoming more of an independent thinker like Atalanta, you can find yourself better able to consciously adopt approaches to dealing with the challenges in your life without having to rely on any preconceived notion that may not be appropriate or meaningful to your personal situation.

Approaching the Triple Goddess

Before the Titans and the Olympians (the gods and goddesses with their very human-like traits and personalities) appeared in Greek mythology, and long before the 5,000 year reign of male deities, people recognized a Triple Goddess who symbolized the three faces of the original Great Goddess. Often depicted in association with the changing phases of the moon, the Triple Goddess moves between her many roles with the changing seasons of her life. In Greek mythology her three faces are described as the:

Maiden/Virgin            Skilled,self-defining, achieving, and focused

Mother/Matriarch       Relationship-oriented,nurturing, loving, generous

Wisewoman/Crone     Contemplative,spiritual, compassionate, able to laugh,an agent of transformative change in society

In Native American mythology the Triple Goddess was represented by the benevolent Changing Woman who could change back and forth from an infant to a young or old woman at will. She reminds us that a full life is rooted in our own nature as well as the seasons of our particular stage of life. Although recent social changes such as our ability to control the timing of childbearing have loosened the ties of the various stages to a woman’s chronological age, it is still common for most women to develop psychologically following this age-old sequence.

The major developmental task of the young woman, in her maiden stage, typically is to claim and embrace her own personal goddess and to fully develop and strengthen the character of her personal goddess type. Having done so, at mid-life (the phase of the mother/matron), her personal growth is enhanced by nurturing the presence and the strengths of the other goddesses who have remained less developed in her personality. With her primary goddess now strong and experienced, she can now afford to attend to the areas of her life she has heretofore neglected. And in the third phase of her life, generally occurring when she is postmenopausal, she reaches the stage of the wisewoman or crone. Her task at this stage is to pull back some from the more external and active involvement of her earlier years, to integrate all that she has learned, and to draw inward, finding her own voice and purpose. She emerges more spontaneous and less restrained by convention, more contemplative, more compassionate and self-accepting. She can be quite outspoken, in touch with her anger on behalf of herself and others. She is fully capable of forcing social changes that are needed. Using the wisdom she has gained, she now is able to weave her unique perspective into a tapestry that is a full expression of the sacred feminine.

Ways to Grow

Demeter’s journey to completeness will involve developing parts of yourself that may have been neglected as you exercised your Demeter qualities in service to others. Your growth will center on the need to develop competencies that you may have left to those on whom you depend . . . the need to develop your own independent decision-making and expertise.

Other recommendations:

• Make it a priority to take good care of yourself. Occasionally put your needs and desires first for a change. Many a Demeter woman makes the mistake of looking after the needs and interests of everyone else while ignoring her own. Learn to relax. Make time for yourself.

• Work on learning to express negative feelings. Your willingness to serve others may encourage them to take you for granted and leave you feeling resentful. This will help you learn to not bottle up your emotions, allowing them to fester and, eventually, to boil over. Develop one or two deep relationships where you can safely show your fears, sadness, and resentment and still find that you are loved and accepted.

• Work at being in the limelight occasionally. You are so used to being “backstage” seeing to it that the show does go on that you could use more recognition for the many contributions you have quietly made.

• Practice accepting compliments and service from others. Allow yourself to be pampered occasionally . . . you really don’t have to be so proficient all the time, people will really continue to love you even if you’re not looking after them.

• Try to become more objective by developing the more abstract thinking processes that you may have neglected in your practical, service-oriented lifestyle. Engage in the purely fanciful or theoretical for a change. Studying psychology might be a good place to start, given your natural interest in people and their behavior.

• Since some Demeters have a blind spot in terms of their romantic relationships, it would be wise for you to develop a capacity to analyze your intimate relationships with logic and insight, identifying your goals, assessing your partners and their character. If you are one of the unfortunate Demeters who finds herself in an emotionally damaging relationship, it is particularly important that you begin to work on your codependent behavior, protecting yourself, and perhaps beginning a new cycle in your life.

• Try to be aware of your motives when you help someone. You will often be setting yourself up for disappointment when you’re expecting appreciation or for them to return the favor. Because of the propensity for Demeters to develop codependent relationships, especially with their loved ones, it is especially important to realize that these behaviors seldom bring the results that you had really wanted.

• After you’ve done something for others, avoid the temptation to call attention to it. Either they will thank you in their own way or they won’t. Reminding them of all that you’ve done for them only makes them feel easy, and possibly even resentful. It won’t help your relationship with them.

• Just as you shouldn’t always be “doing for others” and especially not be trying to get people to love you by giving them service, gifts, or undeserved praise, you should also not pointedly withdraw your generosity when they do not respond to you as you would like.  Don’t make what you do (or don’t do) for others depend on how they respond to you. Instead, give help when it’s asked for and always try to help them to become more capable of functioning on their own and less dependent upon you.

• With your generous and giving Demeter nature, you are unusually able to accurately sense other people’s feelings and needs. Sometimes your “giftedness” in this area can be overwhelming to others. So, rather than jumping right in to help them, it is often better to ask them what they really want first. Express your desire to help, communicate how you think you could help, but be willing to accept a “No Thanks”. Just because they decide to not take you up on their offer of help doesn’t mean they are rejecting you.

Closing the Circle: Finding Completion on the Goddess Path

Even before the appearance of the Triple Goddess, humankind recognized the existence of a ‘Oneness’, a creator, a ‘giver of life’, a spiritual presence who was complete, in and of herself. She was known by many names, among them the Great Goddess, Ishtar, Gaia (Mother Earth). All powerful, she was life energy itself, and a goddess unafraid to venture into the underworld, the symbol for the soul. She reminds us that we must ground ourselves in the reality of our nature and incorporate all sides of ourselves, whether they be light and pleasant or dark and wrathful. She demanded that we connect to the inner wisdom inside our selves and that we manifest that wisdom in the world.

A Final Note

Although in contemporary times we are more likely to speak of mental health, self-actualization, or even spiritual enlightenment, the quest remains the same – growth that leads to personal authenticity. Recognizing and nurturing your goddesses within is a good beginning. As you continue on the goddess path in your quest for a meaningful life, we at Goddessgift wish you good luck and . . . well, Goddess-speed!

We wish to gratefully acknowledge the contribution of Dr. John A. Johnson for allowing the use of comments he authored concerning the description of personality traits measured by the IPIP items contained in the goddess quiz, and to Steven E. Brenner who authored the original IPIP analysis program on which our program is based..